Who did Billy Mays play for?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
