Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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