when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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