so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
