I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
