I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
