If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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