I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
