Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
