The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
