I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
