I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
