She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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