This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
