you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
