Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
