Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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