I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
