paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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