you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
