Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
50% drunk capacity currently
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
