just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He passed out mid-signature
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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