the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
