My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's just like the Real World with babies
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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