she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
