a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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