At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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