And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need water and some morals
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
