problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
