she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
4 words: hood of his car
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
