I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
