Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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