you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
