This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
