Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
