Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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