And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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