This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
