playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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