Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
