I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize