high people should be assigned attendants
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
