Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
