So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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