She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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