# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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