All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize