I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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