Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
