I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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