Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
