But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
