I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
