he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
