It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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